My balls are so social today.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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