there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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