dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
