dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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