Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
