why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
