He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize