And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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