This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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