this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
