Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize