its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
