i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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