please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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