I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
