my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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