I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
