At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
