I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
