(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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