Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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