The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
