im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
