Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
