How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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