So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
