remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
