yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
