The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
