Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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