Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
