have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
