bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
