Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
