Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
