i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
