no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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