I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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