I got chris browned last night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
