I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
