they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
