I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
