I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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