I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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