Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
