I just cut my nipple shaving
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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