We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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