My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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