If i come over, it means nothing
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
