Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
