i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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