I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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