what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
