anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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