I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
