when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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