my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
