So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
