We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
