He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
