Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dicks are not precious.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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