Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
